IRAWO: My Quest for Freedom 9

My lips tremble with anticipation

At their meeting with yours

How will it go?

I really want to know…

My lips tingle with remembrance

Of sweet kisses they once had

Will they tingle again so?

I really don’t know

My lips were made for kisses

And kisses they will surely find

-Geminis Collide

It got to a stage where I could not walk on the streets without being toasted. Seniors, mates and even juniors were having boyfriends. It was called going out. I always referred to it as dating. I wonder where they were going to. Lol.

I got asked out in school. It is a mixed school. I turned down the bold ones. I just could not imagine myself with a boy.

During the holidays when I was fifteen and in SS 2, I decided to try out this going out stuff. I was taking an evening walk when this boy came to meet me. His name is Boriola. He was nineteen. He also lived in my area. Two days later, he sent his younger brother to call me. We walked towards a nearby close and we chatted. That was how it went on for a while during the holidays. 

The next holiday, he came with his friend, Kunle and we chatted. Kunle was Bori’s friend. Kunle said he liked my necklace. It was a gold chain with a ‘K’ pendant. It was given to me by my father. I wore that chain everyday. I had it on even when I had my bath. It was real gold. 

He refused to give it back. He said he wanted to borrow it for week. I told him to give it back and he ran away. I told Bori to get it for me because it was getting late and I had to go back home. He promised to collect it and bring it back the next day. I wonder where he met this thieving friend. I remember that they attended the same secondary school. They were once classmates.

The next day, my father did not go to work. He sat on the couch reading newspapers all day and when he was through, he watched the television. It was very unusual for my father to be at home. I was praying that he should go out but he did not. 

I think Bori called me on the telephone because my father called me after hearing a boy’s voice at the other end. It seemed that when he heard my father’s voice, he would cut the line.

“Kemi!”

“Sir!”

“Who has been calling you since morning?”

“I don’t know sir.”

“If I see you with any boy, you will be in big trouble”.

“Yes sir!”

I wanted to go into my father’s room and call Bori to tell him to stop calling me because it did not seem like my father was ready to leave the sitting room. I could not. My mother was in their bedroom.

The silly boy kept calling and the line was cutting. We had two telephones. As soon as my mother left the house to go to the salon, I went to my father’s room to pick the next call. I wanted to pick it before my father did.

The phone rang again and I picked it up to answer it. Surely, it was Bori at the other end. He was asking me if it was alright to bring back my chain that day. As I wanted to tell him that I would come to his house to collect it the next day, I heard my father’s voice in the phone. I froze to death! I did I not hear him pick the call too. If someone else picked the call, one was bound to hear a ‘click’ sound. It was most likely that he had picked the call at the same time as I did.

He said,

“Hen hen! Just come here! You are a stupid girl!”

I knew that I was already dead but I went to meet him.

“Who is that boy that has been calling you since morning?”

“It was my classmate sir. He wanted to know if I could borrow him my textbook,” I lied. 

Luckily, I was attending lessons to prepare for my GCE exams.

“Tell him not to call you again!”

“Okay sir!”

At the moment, I was free from his wrath.

That evening, I stood by our gate hoping I would see them pass by. I saw them. I went to meet Kunle to give me back my gold chain. He wasted time arguing on the matter. He said I should dash him. I was so angry. I just left them and went back home.

Unfortunately, my father had been looking for me. Immediately I came into the sitting room, he called me and asked me where I had been. I began to stammer. He went upstairs to get his belt. He beat me that night. He told me that my punishment was that I had to go to the barber and cut my hair. I guess he felt my long hair was the attraction to boys. Of course I cut my hair before going back to school.

The following day, I went to Bori's house to collect my chain. His room was in the boys’ quarters in his parents' house. He gave me my chain and apologized on behalf of his friend. We chatted for a while and when I stood up to leave, he came towards me and it happened! 

I was curious. 

“Did you just kiss me?” I asked.

“Yes, I did and I want more”.

“So this is how a kiss tastes, with your saliva in my mouth!” I had tasted the close up tooth paste on his tongue. Ayanma! Disgusting!

He came towards me and wanted to repeat the saliva exchange once more. I was ready for him. I slapped him and ran out. That was the end of our going out.

My second boyfriend was in my school. He was in the science class and I was in the social science class. I was sixteen and he was seventeen. 

He was a cool guy, gentle and easy going but not my type, so I thought. He was always being bullied by our classmates because he was quiet easy going. 

Once, he was hit on the head on the assembly ground during a silly game the boys played. I almost cried because that slap was hot! After assembly, I went to meet the boys that slapped him and quarreled with them. As the class captain, I was bold enough to talk to anybody. I was the class captain. I had authority.

The boys started to make fun of him and called me his mummy. I told him to come and report to me anytime anybody harassed him. So I was like his school mother and nobody dared to harass him again.

And then we began to fall for each other and that was how he became my boyfriend and a tomboy like me fell in love for the very first time. In the matters of love, never say never.

After school, he travelled to the United States for his university degree. Some years later, he asked to marry me. Unfortunately, he was too late.

To be continued.....

IRAWO: My Quest for Freedom 8

Hi. 

It has been a while since my last blog. I have been very sick. The blog just had to wait.

I am feeling better now. Thank God!

If you have missed out on this series from the beginning, start reading from here.

I proceed.

In secondary school, I carried out many activities. I enjoyed cutting grass on labour days, building ridges, planting, watering and harvesting of crops for agricultural science class, knitting, sewing, mending shoes and repairing wrist watches. 

I used to buy extra wrist watch batteries so I could repair watches in school. I got one or more plates of white or jollof rice or beans, stew and fried plantain in exchange for my repair services.

I did not like going out for my morning piece of work except when I was in JSS 1 where I worked in the principal’s house. We only worked on Saturdays. We cleaned her house and sometimes, she would give us food to eat. Senior Bukola Omotade was our work co-coordinator.

In JSS 2, my morning piece of work was to wash the bathroom. In JSS 3, I was allocated a toilet to wash. In SS1, I washed the toilet and later the gutter in the courtyard.  I always locked my toilet and a student would have to come and meet me to collect the key. She would have to provide a bucket of water for flushing and I would check after she was through. It did not matter if you were a senior.

In SS 2, I was made the room captain. I had to make sure that the rooms were swept and kept tidy everyday and for Saturday sanitation inspections too. I was also made the class captain and I held that position from SS2 to SS3.

Visiting days were fun. Even if my parents could not come and visit, I was sure to eat homemade food from a junior, mate or senior that offered to share with me. My mother would come during the week if she or my father could not make it on the Sunday visiting day. 

In school, I heard many stories about Ogbanjes, mammy waters, witches, Lady Kaiko, etc. Many students had nightmares and talked in their sleep. I always put down my mosquito net to add some form of protection for me whilst I slept.

Once, I heard a story about a girl in another school that used to remove her head to plait her hair by herself.

I heard about a girl in one of the other model colleges who died on her birthday. I heard she was an ogbanje and that she used to turn into a leaf and slip under the door, which was always closed at night, to go and have a meeting with her mates under a huge tree behind our hostel. A few students were actually possessed by evil spirits. I made sure I kept away from them.

Wearing bras and starting the menstruation cycle was a big deal for us. We would tell our friends and they would welcome us to the other side of puberty. From JSS1, my mother would pack Simple sanitary towels into my luggage.  I did not use these sanitary towels until I was in JSS3. I was thirteen years old, shortly before our JSS 3 examinations. 

The first person I told about it was Tope Alder. She screamed and was happy for me. I had come back from class on a Friday afternoon and I felt like I had urinated on my body. I checked and saw my stained pant. She took me to the bathroom and showed me how to use the pads.

On the next visiting day, I told my mother about it so she could get me more pads. She began to lecture me.

“Do not let a boy touch you. Don’t play with a boy o!”

I wondered what she meant because I had actually been playing with boys. I was a tom boy and boys were not out of my curriculum. She did not tell me exactly what she meant.

Anyway, that was how most of our mothers talked to us back then. It was a taboo to talk about sex. The mere mention of sex would feel like we had committed a sin.

It is no longer like that because I tell my boys about sex. I tell them why they should not engage in it until the time is right.

These days, sex is like pure water. There is also the issue of same sex. My boys know what all these things mean.

This is not the time to be mincing words with our children. The world has changed drastically.

I passed my JSS 3 examinations. I sat for twelve papers. I had distinctions in Mathematics, English Language, Fine Art, Agricultural Science, Yoruba, Business Studies, Home Economics, Christian Religious Knowledge, Integrated Science, Social Studies and Literature in English. I had a credit in Igbo Language.

For SSCE, I sat for eight subjects. I had distinctions in Economics and Literature in English and credits in Mathematics, English Language, Biology, Government, Commerce and Yoruba.

I also sat for GCE in SS 2 and made all my papers.

At social nights which took place every Saturday evening except during exam period, I participated in fashion parades, cultural dances, dance dramas and dance steps.

In sports, I participated in long distance races like 1800m and marathon. I also participated in relay races. I was consistent but not fast enough for 100m dashes. 

And secondary school was over.

To be continued.